Normally, I am the person that everyone gets irritated with for being SUPER organized for the holidays. I order my cards and custom calendars in November, get my cards out the door a week before the recommended deadline. And I always give and send gifts that are thoughtful and often unexpected. And I get them out the door with plenty of time to spare.
Today is December 24th and this year I am just NOT that person. Half my cards are in un-addressed envelopes. The rest made it out the door on Saturday – miraculously. I barely remembered to buy something for John, let alone other people in my life that I like to give something to. Not because it’s expected, or because I need reciprocation, but because I like to give them a little something to show them they are important in my life – to make them happy for a second.
A few people DID receive something. But one person’s gift is still on my kitchen counter. And WAY TOO MANY just aren’t getting anything from me this year.
Yesterday, I felt so terrible when I received such wonderful and personal gifts from Bob and Mikaela and I had nothing in my hand to give them in return. How … thoughtful of me. What can I say? Christmas is not something I looked forward to this year. It’s an odd time of year for many people, so I won’t get into that. But I just couldn’t muster up the ‘I really give a fuck’ attitude this year.
So if you normally receive a token of my affection at Christmas this year and you normally do, it’s not YOU, it’s ME. You still mean the world to me in so many ways.
My goal is to send an unexpected gift in the New Year to make up for it.
Hell, my SISTER didn’t even get a card.