Parenting, Personal Life

My son is my son is my son.

About a month ago today, my oldest son told his father and I he was gay. We were having lunch to celebrate (mourn?) his departure for New York the following day – off to start his own life. Neither one of us had seen that coming. But, looking back, we aren’t totally shocked either. Our reaction was pretty much: We just love you and want you to be happy. I was pretty emotional though, and I still get a bit emotional when I think about it. Not because I am in any way sad for the truth of it, nor because I wish it was different. I had/have a mother’s reaction: did you go through this by yourself? How did you cope without a mother to help you through any fears you may have had? I take comfort in knowing that he had a solid group of friends who supported him through this. I do not know of him ever being afraid to be himself. He is a confident young man.

That afternoon and in the days following, I found myself telling every gay friend and relative I have. What is this strange reaction? Why did I feel the need to tell them first? Or at all? I’m not sure. I do know that I am now starting to think that it is akin to calling every blonde friend you have and telling them: wow! my daughter just told me she’s really a blonde!

In a perfect world, at least, that’s how it should be.

2 thoughts on “My son is my son is my son.

  1. I had the same reaction when my niece, who is age 14, came out as transgender. While I am gay myself and have many trans friends, I felt this same need to talk to them. I think part of it is not only a certain level of pride in our children, and another connection with our friends who have faced the same issues as our loved one — but also, we are subconsciously building our own support system to help guide us if, and when, we made need it. Wonderful post and congratulations! <3

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